ModBook

Today I got really excited because someone showed me that there IS an Apple Tablet computer. It's Wacom-Tablet-esque and everything, and even comes with a stylus for DRAWING IN PHOTOSHOP (no one on the internet seems to understand my desire for this. It's just that I want to combine a wacom tablet with an ipad with a regular computer, but noooo, all the fanboys and girls FLIP OUT everytime I comment anywhere about wanting this. They think I'm trolling. It's really more about me hoping that if I express my desire in enough places, the message will get back to apple and they'll design my dream product). ANYHOW. I was informed of a product made NOT BY APPLE but by a different company using macs.




I'm not sure if it is touch sensitive because everything they show uses the stylus....I haven't seen what sort of keyboard setup it has, and....well....there is the price.

$899?! I need it!

And then I looked a little more carefully: that is the price with a CUSTOMER-SUPPLIED base computer. Damn. A little under 2 grand for them to build you one with a computer that you DON'T have to purchase. So much for that. I like that it exists, but for that price, I think I'll just keep waiting and see if Apple puts out the exact product I'm hoping for. I mean, after all, I held out for a product like the iPhone...but then it turned out I'd have to change carriers, and ....let's just say I'm still holding out.

The whole reason I started looking into this today was because of some stupid app that someone tweeted about this Flipboard App, which really seems like a beautiful program, but it's only available on the iPad ....sooo getting this modded computer wouldn't make me any more able to use it than I currently am.

Formspring

Invade my privacy?

I'm actually fascinated by these. I haven't asked anyone a question, but I like reading what other people have asked...other people.

Before I put on my makeup

Tuesday night I got a call asking me to sub for this tech teacher at Troy High. I really like subbing there, and the job was from Thursday until Monday. I was psyched. I received a call asking me to babysit Thursday, a call from a teacher asking me to sub for him Thursday, and a whole bunch of other things of the sort. Wednesday night (no school Wednesday) I went on the subfinder website to double check the name of this teacher I was covering for. It was then I noticed that the multi-day job went beyond Monday. It went all the way until Monday the 30th. Could I be the tech teacher that long? Wouldn't the students have to be working on actual projects? Wouldn't I be responsible if they cut their fingers off? I tried not to worry about it, and told myself I would have to make sure my grad school work was done with plenty of time to spare if I wouldn't be able to take the Monday off.

This morning, just as I was waking up for the job, I got a phone call from the Troy line.

That's odd. Generally I only get calls for that day during the morning, and I'm already subbing today. I answered anyway.

"This. is. a. cancellation. notification." The computer voice told me.

Who is the jerk who asks me to sub for almost three weeks and then cancelled the whole shebang right before I have to be there? Do you know how many other ways I could have been earning money today? Grrrrrr....

So instead, I used today to run errands. I lost my wallet on that fateful day before Halloween, and now that I've cleaned my house and searched my car, I'm ready to give up on finding it. I already replaced my library card (that was painful. I'm no longer 21182004831864 and now I've got a new 14 digit number to memorize), my discover card, I called up today to cancel my debit card (and there hasn't been any activity on it, so I feel like it still might be someplace findable) and located the DMV in Troy to get a new license.

I've been putting this off because I had been having all my legal stuff point to my parents address, but now that I'm 24, they can't claim me as a dependent and it makes as much financial sense to admit that I live in Troy. Also, the picture on my license is from when I turned 16. I have long, yellow hair that gets more and more neon with each new license they send me. When I turned 21 I looked bad the day I went to renew my license so I kept the picture that was on it. Nowadays, bouncers give me funny looks like "you-really-expect-me-to-believe-this-is-you?" and when I get pulled over cops hassle me for not living where my license says. So, this is only forcing what is long overdue.

I grabbed my passport, a pay stub, and a national grid bill and headed to the DMV. Immediately upon arriving, I was asked to sign a piece of paper and stand in front of a gray wall. After this, I was given a form to fill out, so I went to the back counter and checked boxes and filled in numbers. When I was finished, I went to get in line to finish up, and had some trouble getting around this lady who had been standing next to me. At the very moment as I tried to squeeze past her, she decided it was also time to get in line. She walked one pace in front of me all the way through the snaking lines to the place of the torn This Is How You Spread Germs feat. fake Jim Halpert poster. Her (presumably) kids squeezed past me. They were at least of driving age, but probably not older than me, a girl and a guy. The girl wore one of those drawstring backpacks with a large button on it, and the guy had black framed glasses. The girl looked at me, and then gave me a curious glance downward. I looked at her and then glanced down at myself too. What's so curious about a 24 year old wearing a nice black top, makeup, black jewelry with sweatpants and pink skull boat shoes while holding a cloche hat, multi-color hobo style scarf and a book intended for teenagers?

Sheesh.


My new license picture is sooo good. Maybe I'll scan it when it arrives (if I haven't changed my mind about it by then)

I'm not allowed to tell you this,

If I've agreed not to tell anyone something, does that indicate that I won't tell the specifics or I won't tell the story? I'm going to take, in this case, it to mean the specifics. So I won't tell you the specifics. (Do I ever? That seems like a good way to never get a job and maybe get sued).

I subbed today. Surprise, surprise. I woke up right when my alarm clock went off, feeling totally awake. I knew I had enough time to go back to sleep, and even though I was wide awake, I took advantage of the half hour. When I woke up, I didn't exactly have enough time to make lunch, so I threw these things in a bag: a container of cottage cheese, a raspberry yogurt, almond butter, jelly, a loaf of italian bread, and a muffin and a half. I don't have a ton of money. Ever. I got a statement about my taxable income from the past...8? years, and I don't quite understand why I don't qualify for food stamps. It's got to be well below the poverty level. Even I was surprised at how little I earned last year, subbing full time and all. So sometimes I'll splurge and get all the ingredients to make a very involved dinner, and sometimes I just eat a lot of beans or toast (but not beans on toast, though I hear that's a regular English snack [breakfast?]). When I arrive at the school I don't have time to put my lunch in the fridge, which is concerning because, as you'll recall, I packed dairy products. It was actually a few hours before I had a chance to do this. By this time, I had eaten the half a muffin. I went to the teachers lounge and put the cottage cheese, the yogurt, the jam and the almond butter in the fridge. I put the whole muffin in my bag, and left the loaf of bread (in its bag in a shopping bag) on the counter. Before I left I noticed a giant ziploc bag of Halloween candy on the counter. Sometimes people leave stuff for you to nibble on. I helped myself to one of the tiniest candy bars ever. The bag was mostly filled with malted milk balls, which I hate. I never understood why people would pay extra to ruin their milkshake like that, and I never got the appeal of the candy. There was one additional tiny candy bar in the bag, and I fought myself for a good thirty seconds before deciding to eat it. I've never been a big fan of finishing up things that aren't mine.

I had felt a little foolish making a point to put my lunch in the fridge at that time, as it would be hardly an hour before I'd be eating it, but oh well.

I went back to the teachers' lounge at lunchtime, and noticed the bag of candy gone. I didn't think anything of this, maybe whoever was sharing decided not to share anymore. I got out my yogurt and my cottage cheese and then realized something else was missing --- my loaf of bread. I've been eating a lot of bread since I bought this loaf. That is to say, I've probably consumed 6-8 pieces of toast, and somehow, the loaf is still larger than most of the smooshy square loaves you find. So, most of a loaf of bread, in its bag in a grocery store bag is no where to be found. I look in the fridge, poking each and every plastic bag contained within. None of them contain a loaf of bread. I look atop the fridge, on the table and counters and in every single one of the cabinets. I stop and think about the steps I'd taken just in case I'd left it somewhere else.

Nope. Definitely left it there.

I find a piece of paper. I write a note. I try to sound as non-accusatory as possible:

TO WHOEVER RELOCATED MY LOAF OF BREAD:

PLEASE RETURN IT OR LET ME KNOW WHERE YOU'VE PLACED IT. I'M SUBBING FOR [such and such a teacher].
EMILY (11/4)

I'M POOR AND HUNGRY, THEY DON'T PAY SUBS TOO WELL! :)

I told the other adult who was working in the room with me. This other adult was furious. This other adult lacks confidence in the trustworthiness of the rest of the faculty and staff. This other adult acknowledged that where I left my bread is commonly read as "up for grabs."

During an afternoon break, I took out a book. A member of the administration poked in the room, asking how my day was going.

"Pretty good, except that someone took my bread...." I really didn't want this to go unnoticed. I was already formulating my blog / facebook status / twitter post about it.

I was angry.

(Dear Thief at Such and such a school. Stealing a loaf of bread? Seriously? They have GOT to pay you more than me. If they don't, I suggest seeking employment elsewhere)

"I heard!!!" the member of the administration replied, voice containing sheer concern.

I described the specifics of the loaf. Italian. Sliced. From that bakery in that town (in case it was spotted).

Soon after, the other adult in the room with me returns, having somehow been filled in on the details of my missing loaf. It feels really pathetic at this point to make such a big deal out of a two dollar loaf of bread, but it wasn't just my lunch. It was my breakfast, lunch, dinner, on and on. It was the vehicle for all the condiments that make up 75% of the food contained within my refrigerator.

The other adult in the room is a fan of italian bread. This makes the crime more heinous. The other adult in the room presses a five dollar bill in my hand. I insist that this isn't neccessary, fight it, try to give it back. I finally give in , pocketing this bill. I tell TOAITR that the bread only costs $2, but TOAITR insists that I deserve two loaves. Soon, TOAITR and I run across the principal, who has also heard about the bread antics. The principal reaches into a pocket, saying "please let me buy you another loaf." I inform the principal that TOAITR has already done so, but no one really needed to do that, I just wanted to get my original loaf back. The principal apologizes profusely, and then asks that I please not tell anyone about this.

So I feel like maybe I'm cheating the principal, but maybe not including the story would cheat the subbing portion of my blog. And I'm going to assume that what the principal was concerned about was the story being linked to the (forever unnamed) school.

It's been a tired, cranky week.It's worse when there isn't food to be had. Going to bed hungry results in difficulties waking up.

Do you think I was getting paid back for eating those candy bars?

Do you think my house got egged because I refused to answer my door on Halloween even though I was clearly home? (I didn't have any candy! Or maybe I was egged because some kids hate me because I'm a sub and they know where I live? Or maybe I was egged by that guy in the Jeep because I honked at him?)

Here is an image from when I was popular.

Marrying into a family.

This past Sunday, my cousin who lives in Utah proposed to his girlfriend in front of Robert Indiana's LOVE statue in NYC. As they were up for the weekend, his new fiancé got a chance to meet all the uncles, and I have to say I was a bit embarrassed at the racist, homophobic and crude behavior that I do normally find myself cringing at. I apologized to her for this, and her fiancé, my half Korean, stylish, polite cousin Jeffrey quipped "I don't know how they even talk to me." It is the sort of family where boys were threatened at a young age: "if you EVER call me up and tell me you're a fag, I won't EVER speak to you again!"


On a slightly pathetic, faintly self-loathing note, I was again considering what it would be like to marry into a family. That is, could I marry the only single, only brother, so that I, too, could bear that proud name? If the only single, only brother even lived within 100 miles, I could consider this further.

Even more ridiculous

Just when you thought we couldn't be any more ludicrous, scientists began doing research via YouTube.

Smaller than I realized

And I wondered why this small size wasn't displayed in his gallery.

Goodbye Cruel World: My Favorite Block in Troy

Since 1915, Trojan Hardware has occupied my favorite block in Troy, adding character and stability to a city which has seen its ups and downs. Now, due to a steady decline in business as well as an owner who is ready to retire, Trojan Hardware will close.

I feel sick.

Ban Comic Sans?

Comic Sans from Sam and Anita on Vimeo.

Fail.

I am not original.

Oh well.

This Week Sucked.

Why? 10 hour days essentially babysitting private school kids....and every kid I've ever disliked (below fifth grade) at that school showed up. A few kids I'd never met before proved themselves to also be annoying, or perhaps annoying and later cute.

Highlights, Lowlights, Things I've Observed:

1. Playing cards with cheat peekers is lame. Peek Sneeker. Pete Seeger.
2. Playing battleship with liars, or kids too little to realize that they are lying is lame.
3. Hungry Hungry Hippos is the noisiest game that does not claim to be noisy.
4. Hungry Hungry Hippos does not fit in its box.
5. I took my favorite kid to help me feed the K/1 frogs. He dumped sooo much food in that the next day one could not make out the frogs through the water. Oops.
6. I can predict what a child will grow up to be based on little things they say (which are essentially direct quotes from the people I know that they will grow up to be like)
7. Electronics out doors is super lame. One fourth grade girl, showing off her fancy new iPod touch seeks shade during playground recess so she could play with her apps. Or watch WALL-E. Oh, the irony.
8. Lame app: toast. Who wants to toast digital bread, add digital toppings, and digitally eat it? Wouldn't it be better to have actual toast? It is cheap, quick, and delicious.
9. One boy, who would become my favorite and the cutest (he is five) kept getting stuck in this part of the playground. I would lift him up and out. One time, he called me "Emmmilly!" 'Stuck again?' I say, and as I get close to him he jumps free of the playground equipment and taunts: "tricked ya, tricked ya, now you've gotta kiss me!"

10. One little girl (4yr old) asked if she could go to her cubby. Another little girl told the first girl that she would be joining her on the walk to her cubby. 'Wait! You have to ask" we tell her. "Oh Sorry!" and turning to the first little girl: "Can I go with you to your cubby?"

11. Guess Who is racist. There is not a single non-white person on the board. Some may disagree. I always thought she was Italian. Furthermore, how many redheads are in this crowd of people? How many redheads are usually? Don't get my wrong, I love me some redheads, but c'mon. (Also, only a handful of women....)


We made bread, hummus, and butter. I almost lost my head at one little girl in particular. She is say....five, and I would do an impersonation of her but I can't bring myself to vlog. So try this: put on your whiniest, most high pitched voice. Be sure to annunciate all your consonants. Now pretend that you are a five year old trying to argue your point to an adult who has already told you 'NO'. Try one of these on for size:

- Why cant we go on the little kids playground?
- But I don't want to make butter. I don't want any butter on my bread.*
- But I want an oompa loompa now Daddy!

*This one really pushed me over the edge. Let me tell you that the only reason bread was made that day (today) was so that there would be something to put the butter ON. If you can't even have the decency to shake the container with the marble, you don't deserve any bread. I just started mocking her and going off:
"ohh, ohh, I hate this, I don't want to do this and Emily sucks and Emily is lame and the activities that she prepared are totally boring and I'll have no part in them" and the other little kids said "Emily, your face is getting all red" while the little girl I was...attacking?...(ohh, no! who am I?) stammered her explanations.

Butter:

Bread:

and when I got home I actually used some of my compost (for the first time ever)

to plant cattle beans.

By the way, the "compost-able" Ben & Jerry's corn cup came out looking the same a year later.

Some thoughts about Tech Decks

LAME

Comic Con: Worth $3?

I'm not sure.

Letter of Recommendation

I was subbing the other day and I noted to a few people that the kids seemed especially argumentative that day. I'm not sure what it was. It started first period, when one student, at the end of class, asked me to make sure to give this note directly to her teacher. "Why don't you hand deliver it? That way, you'll be sure it makes its way directly to her"

She would have none of that. We all know she just wanted me to read it. After all, who delivers a demerit against themselves? What about the fifth amendment? So, I pocketed it to scan and post on the internet and point out how lame she is.

Speaking of amendments.....though I've been working on not arguing with students, they've gotten me on this one bit.

When I ask them to stop talking, more and more they claim the right to "free speech".

I know that it does not give you the right to run your mouth in the middle of my class, but more of the right to express yourself without censorship. But how, exactly, is that? Isn't it some part of something that students are supposed to follow school rules to enable education for all? Thoughts?

Maybe I need a website...

I used to have a website. It was fairly complicated, most of the links were broken, and I could only update it if I used a certain computer. Needless to say, this wasn't high on my priorities. I often forgot that I had it. Most of my hopes for this website were solved by Etsy, that is, to sell the things I make. When I received my yearly e-mail asking for more money, it was simple to tell him I didn't think I should have a site anymore.

Now, however, I think I need one again. I've got dreamweaver on my computer, and I don't really know how to use it. Also, I haven't really tried.

My roommate at my last residency told me that it is really important to have a website. I suppose I should listen to her, because selling paintings is her primary source of income.

And when you google my name, you don't get anything associated with me. There is a website filled with art and design I am proud to say isn't mine.

Here's hoping EmilyRArmstrong.com is available.
I suppose I should get on that.



This company might design nice objects, but there is something lacking in their website.

Water Tower Mysteries

So once upon a time I wondered how water towers made any sense. Sure, releasing water from a great height will create great pressure, but what about the energy it takes to get it up there in the first place? My first stab at solving this mystery was to ask the friend I always ask the random things I am wondering about. He was unsure, and told me he could make something up. (I appreciate this, as I had other go-to people who simply would make something up, lie about it;....totally lame). So I did what any distinguished intellectual would do in my situation: I googled it. This is my understanding now.

Water flows from the treatment facility to a pump. From the pump, the water goes where it needs to, according to residential need. When supply exceeds need, the excess water is pumped up into the tower. If need exceeds supply (say, during peak times when everyone is showering for work), then the lacking amount is drawn from the tower. Also! If the power goes out, The water tower contains enough water to supply its households for one day (and of course, gravity does not require electricity to work).