Mob Boss

I don't usually accept jobs subbing for kindergarten or pre-k if I know that's what I'd be getting into. I'm sure I've mentioned this before.

I did not realize that such-and-such a teacher was a Kindergarten teacher, so I accepted this job. Overall, it wasn't too terrible. I do hate tying shoes and fielding absurd remarks, but for kindergarten, they were pretty good kids.

That alone is not worth mentioning. What is, however, is Santino.

Santino is a little boy with big eyes and a long dark ponytail who somehow has the respect and devotion of every other kid in the class.

Santino says things like: "Oh snap!" and "You're not the boss of me!"

I take it that this latter remark is because he is the boss of everyone else. It was absolutely ridiculous to see the other kids pandering to him. "Santino, watch this!" "Santino, do you like my drawing?" Instead of looking to me for what to do, the kids would ask Santino.

Near the end of the day when the kids were in their special, Santino came into the classroom just as I was leaving to pick the class up. He held a bathroom pass in his hand. "Do you have permission to be here?" I asked. He said he did and I told him to just stay. When I went to pick the class up, the special area teacher told me that kindergartners are usually not allowed to go to the bathroom because they do crazy things like walk all the way to the other side of the building to use the bathroom in their classroom. Apparently Santino had been convincing about his maturity. The special area teacher seemed concerned when I confirmed that I had left him in the classroom alone. In retrospect, it seems like the wrong choice, but I was confused and didn't want to be late to pick up the class, or have a student pee in his pants.

When we returned to the classroom, Santino was nowhere to be found. The other students immediately started freaking out. "I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT SANTINO IS GONE!"

I panicked a little too, but luckily before I could even call anyone, he returned. He had gone to give back the bathroom pass.

I couldn't help but think of Scarface School Play all day, and I only felt a little bad about this when Santino came and gave me a big hug before he left for the day.

Spelling Errors.

I subbed for a first grade class today. One of the tasks of a first grader at this particular school is to complete a few pages of a handwriting book everyday. This mostly consists of them copying letters.

One unfortunate / awesome mistake I caught today:

I like my toy trani.

Chatroulette / Merton / Ben

Have you seen this?

What about this?

Jumper

I keep seeing all these comments from British girls about jumpers. From the looks of what they're commenting on, it seems to be just a shirt. I was just about to embarrass myself via twitter polling the Brits that follow me when I looked up the word jumper on my computer dictionary.

Oh.

What'cha doin, huh? Who's a hungry chicken?

When I was a bit younger, I used to think my dad was crazy for the way he spoke to animals. It is like, he has this mantra. It doesn't really matter what he says, but it is funny to think about it like it does matter.

"What'cha doin', huh? Huh? Huh? What'cha doin', huh?"

Wow, typed that looks even crazier.

Well, anyway, I just realized that I'm probably just as crazy as him, which might be just as crazy as you, if you ever speak to animals. This probably means I'm growing up. When you realize you're just as crazy as your parents, you've matured-- right?

My mantras change depending on the animal. It goes like this:

"Who's [a / my / a hungry] (kitty cat / guinea pig / chicken / puppy dog)? Awww, you're [ " "]. You're (a/my) [animal type] baby."

Something like that.

Judge away.