YOU'RE not the boss of the SCHOO-OOL.

Today I subbed in Kindergarten.

I hate kindergarten.

These children are almost first graders, but they were the worst behaved group ever.

One little girl, as I tried to gain control of the class by asking individual students and small groups of students to quit certain behaviors took it upon herself to stand up against my authority. When I told the students to stop talking or put books away, she would counter that they didn't need to put books away, that they were allowed to talk. When she began to comply with my directives, she began yelling at me to "leave her friends alone" and made sure I knew that I'm "not the boss of the school." In her most amateur (and perhaps adorably misguided) move yet, she started taunting me, trying to make me jealous because THEY get to go on the PLAYGROUND later and IIIIIII dooooonnnn't.

At different points where she attempted to bully me or fight with me, I engaged her in conversation about the thing she was saying. Asked her questions and acted genuinely excited for her.

I highly recommend this tactic. It worked like a charm, diffusing the situation as well as giving me a release of my frustrations in an imperceptible display of mockery.

Later a student complained to me: "He called me a liar!"

From behind her another student called out, "I did not!"

I tried to explain to them the irony of this exchange, but I think it might have been just over their heads.



Somehow, I managed to only tie one pair of shoes.