Misogyny

If we are to assume that misogyny is a hereditary trait, how does this continue? Who honestly, HONESTLY would consent to allowing a man with so little respect for her gender ANYWHERE NEAR those parts that make her unarguably female??

This afternoon, I dropped my car off to get my oil changed and took a little jog. I brought nothing with me but a water bottle, and then nervously stopped in every business I passed to check the time. After a 20-or-so minute loop, I returned to Mavis to find my car hadn't been brought in the garage yet. I resigned myself to sit in the waiting room and watch the TV, which an older man also waiting had turned to Seinfeld. After Seinfeld, my car hadn't been brought in yet, so I watched the Simpsons too. I did my best to try to ignore the man and the woman (who appeared to be in their late 50s) also waiting and quietly having an argument that sounded like they were breaking up. At one point they started fighting about who of them would know something more. The guy said: "I know, because I'm a man."

WHAT.

My face contorted into a look of incredulity and I tried my best to not make eye contact or acknowledge that I had been listening, but I briefly caught the woman's gaze, so she clearly knew how I felt about the situation.

The episode of the Simpsons was a rather good one, and one I'd never seen before. It featured Homer and Marge discussing their pre-married life in the 90s. (hilarious as didn't the show start in the 90s?) Marge goes to college, paid for by Homer, and she falls for her radical professor who talks a lot about the oppressive force of the white male. Marge and Homer split up, Marge briefly has a thing with the professor which ends sharply when the professor shows his true colors by saying "oh Marge, it's statements like that that make people say women are stupid."

What a relevant episode to be playing in the background of these shenanigans.

At one point this man pulls a number out of his wallet, for effect. Apparently some other woman had given it to him. He rips it up as a show that he doesn't even care about that, but if this is true, why did he keep it in the first place?

(I suppose this was because he later accused her of making him feel undesirable, and perhaps he wanted to save it for just such an opportunity, but still -- I don't understand why she was wasting her time with such a misogynistic a-hole.)

The Simpsons ends and Family Guy comes on. I walk up to the counter to see if I should bring my car back in tomorrow -- they hadn't even pulled it into the garage yet and I would be glad to have an excuse to leave. They tell me that won't be necessary as they were just moments away from servicing my car.

All the while this couple is arguing, the woman keeps shushing the man, who occasionally quiets down and always gives her sass about it. At the point where I've been sitting with them for about an hour, the woman turns to me and asks me if I can hear the TV okay.

This is in no way about volume. I had already taken the remote control to flip the channel and check the time. If I couldn't hear, I could certainly turn the TV up.

I turn to them and admit that they *have* made me feel a bit awkward, and the woman apologizes to me, and I tell her that, no, *I* am sorry.

The man begins to yell at her about bringing the argument into the public and yell at her for the very basis of her apology to me, and I tell him that I was a bit baffled at his misogynistic comment about men knowing everything, telling him I'm surprised that such men could even reproduce, when such an act requires a woman.

Sometimes I run my mouth off.

At this point he starts berating me for even talking to them and simultaneously begins defending his side of the fight to me [telling me that she is 61 and told him she was going to fellate every guy in the bar -- which she defended as saying that was because she was hot headed because he had slept with someone else] while berating me for saying anything to him [I wanted nothing to do with this but I didn't really have a choice] it is a public place, and also telling me that it's men like him [misogynists] who produce women like me [feminists]. Yep. He called me a feminist. No. He did not mean it as a compliment.

[My dad, while not the most outspokenly liberal guy, is certainly not a misogynist as I'm pretty sure he couldn't function without my mom and also, she clearly wears the pants in the family.]

I don't remember why, but he went outside for a bit, and I ended up talking to her for that time. We apologized to each other and I recounted for her the things that I overheard that had outraged me. I told her I didn't know why she put up with his bullsh--. She told me what drives her crazy is he won't take responsibility for his own actions.

He soon comes back inside and yells at her some more, "oh, you've made a new little friend?" turning to me and telling me that she wants to have a lesbian encounter. "It's true, she really does." I tell him that I don't think that's really related at all to what's going on. I start scowling into space and he starts yelling at her for always talking to everyone. "I just like PEOPLE!" she defends.

I walk into the garage to see how much longer it'll take for my car, explaining both that I have to go to work and also about the couple making me uncomfortable. When I go back into the waiting room, one of them suggests they take their arguement outside. "So we don't offend little Miss Sensitive ears!" the man calls out mockingly.

"SORRY for being HUMAN!" I respond.

I mean, really.

My Place!

I've entered my home into Apartment Therapy's Small Cool contest this year. I'm not thinking I'll win, and I'm not even sure they'll accept my entry, but I like the contest and my place too much not to try. Also, it gave me a reason to photograph and make a floorplan of my house, and I don't think the rules say I *can't* share them with you here.

So, this is where I live:

483 sq ft

MoCCA 2011

Oh my goodness, MoCCA fest. Last year, I was following enough comic artists on twitter during MoCCA time to realize that I was missing out on something important and awesome, so this year I made it a *point* to be there. At the Center for Cartoon Studies, Alec Longstreth had encouraged us to trade comics with other people. I brought a stack of Some Of Us two for this purpose.

The thing that I really like about festivals / conventions like this are the panels, and there was a panel about teaching comics at 11:30 that I wanted to / needed to go to. And then my bus out of Albany was a half hour late. Luckily, when I made it to the armory, there was a long line stretching around the building because the fest was opening a half hour late. I missed nothing.

In the Teaching Comics panel, I learned about 3eanuts (which honestly I think is an interesting concept but less successful than Garfield Minus Garfield). I forget the context, but I have written down a quote from one of the panelists: "People just think, they buy something in the store, it exists in nature." I love this so much because it's very true. Often I find people admiring the work of others and making comments about how they could never do it, likening the time, effort, skill, hard work and years of practice with some magic gift that some people have and others don't.

I stayed right in that room for the next panel, which was about Sequential non-fiction. I came away with a lot of graphic novels I want to read, and a discussion was raised about accountability and realness. I really appreciated discussion about how to portray events without being judgmental, or when such judgement is necessary. Someone asked "is calling it a *real* story important to the story?" which I found to be a convicting question because I work in non-fiction, often autobiographical non-fiction, pushing it to the point where I will illustrate an idea I had as something occurring within thought bubbles.

After these panels I took some time to actually trade some of my comics. I didn't want to go home with any of my own, so I figured I'd do this first. The first person I asked didn't want to trade so early because she was almost sold out of what she'd brought, but she was really nice about it and told me to come back at the end of the day. It was a good warm up. I had won a weirdly printed copy of one of Tara Abbamondi's Puddles, so I decided I'd give her one of my comics too. I wanted a copy of Kate Beaton's book, and I figured I'd try and do what I was doing a NEWW, a trade + cash. I expected her book to be $20 and I was going to offer her $15 and a copy of my comic, but then she was having a sale! And then she drew me and I just gave her one of my mini comics, because who doesn't want the people they respect to have something they made? This is a thing, I'm sure of it. Also, she signed and drew in my book. I was so entirely pleased about it that I changed my twitter avatar. I'm a dork.

My haul, including both trades and purchases:

I haven't had a chance to dig into much yet, but I *did* read Luke holds off by Jeremy Nguyen and Beard by Pranas Naujokaitis which were both amazing in very different ways. I actually got home and bought a copy of Beard for a friend of mine and had it mailed to his house. I think he'll be pleasantly surprised.

I caught one more panel which was a conversation with Dash Shaw and Brecht Evans. I had never heard of Brecht but I'd read Bottomless Belly Button by Dash and loved it. They are both very young and very funny. Brecht (who is Flemish) asked Dash if he knew what Bottomless Belly Button was called in Dutch. Dash said he didn't and tried to change the subject. Clearly he doesn't want to know. "You've gotta pay attention to these things!" Brecht scolded. I can only imagine.

After seeing some pages and hearing about Brecht's work, I went right upstairs and bought his book. I also walked around the convention for a bit longer, buying things, talking to people (especially people from CCS, from Albany/Troy, and about chickens) and feeling overwhelmed. I found a girl named Sally who was painting 30 second portraits for fifty cents. How could I resist?

I also was fairly certain someone was drawing me during the Dash-Brecht panel, and afterwards I asked her to see it and had a discussion with her about drawing unposed people and trying to not freak them out.

Overall, I found myself smiling at a lot more people than I usually do, on the street or whatever. Even though I was beat I was just so excited to be inundated with COMICS. I think next year I should get a table, but definitely split it with a few people so I can still go to panels and such. Also, I'm sad to have missed Drink and Draw Like a Lady. Alas.

Overdue

At the end of 2009, in lieu of holiday cards, I stole a trick from Hank Green and send out surveys. I did not receive one back from everyone, but the ones I did get back were more heartwarming and exciting to read than I'd expected. I kept a lot of Hank's question's, but changed a few. Here are the question's I asked:


1. How long have you known Emily?

2. What do you want from me?

3 What have you been up to this past year? (please be as detailed as possible, because I actually want to know.)

4 How much longer do you think you'll be doing what you're doing?

5 Why are you doing it?


6 What do you want to be doing?


7 What's next in your life?

8 How You Doin'?

9 What's the best book you read this year?


10 Describe a perfect day.
11 How are you feeling about kids these days?


12 (- In this space, compose your own question, and answer it -)


13 If you’ve seen these sorts of things, what is your favorite viral video? 


14 If you were a cliché, what cliché would you be?


15 Do you subscribe to magazines? Which ones?
16 What is your least favorite part of any given day?


17 What was the last thing that you made using your hands?


18 Cheese or Chocolate?


19 Where would you live if you could live anywhere?


20 What was your first concert?


21 If you could start a business that would be instantly successful, what kind of business would it be?


22 Invisibility or Time Travel?



And here are a smattering of answers I received. If you want me to attribute your answers to you, let me know and I can do that. I'm otherwise going to leave it anonymous.

1. answers range from a short amount of time to 6+ years to my entire life
2. jewelry that I've made / patience / beautiful artwork / nothing
3. DUI / raising children / moved to MA / pretended to be a grown up (sort of)/ almost went for an MFA @ Pratt / almost went to school for illustration at FIT / cried / played music / finished a Master's in Literacy / moved in with friends / moved in with significant other / got a job
6 reading & facebook / pretty much the same thing in a warmer place with more creative time / writing / writing something else / writing narrative fiction / honestly no idea / be treated as a professional


maybe I'll add more later. I'm a bit tired of doing this right now

This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.

I recently realized that I've been waiting. For what? Perhaps to land that full time job -- my career. Perhaps to find that perfect someone, start a family.

But I realized not long ago: I'm 26. This is my life. It is happening. This is me, single, living in a small apartment in a small city, struggling to make ends meet, doing creative things, teaching people, loving who I love, getting upset at what I dislike. This is my life. I don't need to wait.

THIS.

#ThingsThatFrightenMe

New England Webcomics Weekend

On Saturday I went to New England Webcomics Weekend in Easthampton, MA, which is not quite a two hour drive.

Eastworks, the converted factory it took place in made me drool. Western Mass has a great knack for creatively reusing old factory buildings and adorning them with giant steel Futura letters. I could really love to live in an old factory.

There were a few different reasons I wanted to go to NEWW. Let's start out with that it was cheap and close. $6 for a day pass was not bad. I also wanted to get a chance to meet and buy crap from some of my favorite comics, i.e. Lucy Knisley and Erika Moen. These reasons are all pretty obvious. I also really liked the different panels being offered on Saturday, and then there is the part where I've never really gone to a con of sorts before. I'd like to go to MOCCAfest in the spring, and I had it in my head that I could get a table... but now based on the amount of work I have and the amount of people who might want to get a table with me, this seems unreasonable. At CCS this summer, Alec talked a bit about cons and trading, and sort of made it seem like standard good practice. I've bartered with people before when I've sold things at craft fairs (why yes you CAN have that mix tape for this book on the car-free lifestyle), but I knew it was going to take a bit to work up my courage to do it.

As I was standing by a table waiting to ask a girl who had a spread of 6 page, laser printed 24lb minicomics if she wanted to trade, a girl at the table next to her (with a septum ring and whose nametag said Spike) turned to me and said "which Emily are you? There are so many Emilys. What do you do?"

Clearly, Spike has never heard of Someday I Won't Suck. She isn't a twitter follower or facebook friend of mine, and I know it doesn't get a ton of traffic from outside of those sources.

I sort of stammer out about the blog I keep and I hand her the copy of Some Of Us one I've been waiting to try and trade with the other girl. She comments on my blog name, and after asking me my age she tells me she often thought that at 25 too. She flips through my minicomic, stops on the strip Red Plates, asks me if I use a brush and compliments me on my inking. She flips through the rest of it and then makes a sad face and says something about there not being many pages. I'm aware of the thinness of this. I probably made a total of three comics before I took that class in August, and when I was offered the opportunity to sell some stuff at Troy Night Out at the end of the summer, I decided to pull together what I had so I could actually get my name / work out there a little bit. I've been selling these minicomics for $1.50 because that covers the cost of making the copies and gives me back a little more. (Which will eventually cover the cost of the brush, t square, long arm stapler, etc). The first girl that I asked to trade seemed a little offended and then decided to, admitting that she'd never been asked that before. We lost our trading v card together. It was slightly awkward. After that I decided to undersell myself and think of my comics as worth $1, and offer to trade with other people selling comics for $1... and then I started offering a mix of cash and trade, which is the only way I can make up for my tiny tiny comic and still get the things I want AND get my comics into more hands. After the first awkward interaction, all my other offers to trade were well received.

I went to a few panels which were different combinations of hilarious and educating. I really appreciate NEWW because it is certainly more my scene than a DC / Marvel -centric comiccon. I mean, these were really the only people cosplaying.

During Tweet Me Harder, I really regretted not being able to tweet from my phone, but then I realized I didn't really have any idea what was going on anyhow.

Somehow we ended up discussing rhubarb and kale (how am I the only one familiar with these vegetables?) accordions, and the difference between Helvetica and Arial. All obscure subjects near and dear to my heart.

The inventor of the accordion? "It was somebody who was frustrated the piano was not a wind instrument."

Less ridiculous nuggets I jotted down:

Why do we still ink? Could just put your pencils up. It was a style born of necessity.

"Knowing how to use a brush makes me a better digital inker and a more versatile artist," - Meredith Gran

Spend as little money as you can to start. Once you develop your skill... THEN you'll understand why the expensive tools are worth it. Before that they're just toys.

Did you see the diary comic I made about it?

I took some footage. I'll throw it up on ChateauOfADeuce eventually.